Tips and Tricks for new Malta Residents, part III

Once again the good folks of Malta have offered more advice for the various folks who recently moved into Malta. One busy teacher wants to remind the new folks to get an engine block heater to tuck under the hood of their cars. Possibly not everybody realizes that when you spot an electric cord hanging out the front of a car, this car is not, I repeat NOT, a $65,000 Tesla Model S Roadster. Hustle on down to the auto store and buy yourself an engine block heater and a 20-foot extension cord to plug it into your garage electrical outlet. Jerry the barber reminds you to please unplug the orange cord before backing out of your driveway. More than once, he has spotted cars zipping down Central Avenue dragging the orange extension cord behind them. This would be in the same category as leaving a rest room stall with tissue paper unknowingly stuck to your heel. This is not good.

Winter will soon be with us, even though Malta’s teenagers seem to think that a 20 degree outside temperature means that spring is still in the air. Come January our hardy teens will still be wearing t-shirts, shorts, and rubber flip-flop shoes. It matters not to them that their legs are a light shade of purple, their teeth are chattering loudly, and they must constantly rub their hands and arms together for warmth. No way would they be caught in January wearing a warm coat and gloves. As Hubby often says, “Common sense is not so common.” So, dig out your winter coats, hats, and gloves, and while you’re at it, go buy a snow shovel. You could possibly need it by late September.

We are fortunate that Malta is a pretty safe community to live in. Many folks do not lock their doors and they have even been known to keep their cars unlocked with the car keys in them! I am reminded, however, to lock your car during the months of August and September. Rumor has it that there are several zucchini fairies blessed with an abundance of squash. Beware! These people lurk through the streets at night looking for unlocked cars to gently place a zucchini or two or three onto the front seat.

When it comes to winter sports, Great Falls has their hockey, Bozeman has skiing, and Malta offers ice fishing. Now I have never participated in this winter sport and info about it was offered to me second hand. As I understand it, when the ice at Nelson Lake is thick enough, people actually drive their trucks onto the thick ice to set up their mini castles to ice fish. If they drive onto the ice, and it is not thick enough, they then become part of the popular ice bucket challenge. More than one truck has been fished out of Nelson Lake over the years. These fishermen cut a hole in the ice, drop down a line and hook, and then sit and sit and sit. I was told that other anglers prefer lying on their tummy on the super cold ice while holding a spear. When a pike attempts to sneak by, it is speared and becomes the fisherman’s dinner. Nobody has admitted to me yet as to how long one lies on their tummy before actually spearing a fish. My answer would be that it is too long, and very sensible Malta wives would suggest buying a pack of frozen fish at the grocery store.

Amtrak plays a very important role in Malta’s life. Any questions? You only need to dial 1-800-USA- Rail to hear a perky voice declare, “Hi! I’m Julie your Amtrak automatic computer server.” The east bound Amtrak is usually here about noon time, daily. The mysterious westbound Amtrak is another story. People from Canada, Wyoming, and the greater Billings area drive here to catch the westbound Amtrak rumored to arrive at approximately 1:30 p.m. Westbound Amtrak has been as much as ten or eleven hours late, and Julie, your friendly automatic computer server, has absolutely no idea just where the train could be slowly chugging through North Dakota. Having ridden the westbound Amtrak many, many times, I now consider that when it is only four or five hours late, it is right on time. Previously mentioned out of town passengers from Wyoming may want to have reading material with them while they are patiently waiting for the westbound train. GONE WITH THE WIND or WAR AND PEACE should do it. Before Amtrak changed schedules, there were times when the eastbound and westbound trains were here in Malta setting on our tracks at the very same time. Because the trains look exactly alike, passengers had to be sure they boarded the correct train. Who knows how many vacationing families hopped off at the station in Fargo, ND, when they really intended to be at Glacier National Park?

Have a good week, new teachers, and don’t forget to lock your car doors.