Good thing I didn't have a knife

Life throws you a curveball sometimes and all you can do is either take a swing or leave it alone with hope that the umpire makes a call in your favor.

I had a curve ball the other day, a furry, disease carrying type.

My wife Susan knew something was up when the peanut butter on our set up mouse trap was licked clean. (Don’t worry it’s the plastic type and would only scare PJ if he tripped it.)

There was no possible way PJ could lick the peanut butter off without it snapping and Bruce isn’t allowed anywhere near the trap, so it was a pretty good clue that we for the second year in a row, had an intruder in our house.

The second clue was the droppings we found.

I reset the trap hoping that he would come back to the trap for more chunky peanut butter. Three hours passed and nothing.

After waiting for another hour or so, we decided to do some cleaning in the kitchen.

I was almost done with the dishes and out jumps this little turd.

It scared the crap out of me and I knew if I didn’t catch him fast, there would be more feces all over the house.

I was hoping that my wife could pass me my shoes so I could smash him but as I looked over at my right hand, I knew the Good Lord had another option.

The mouse had made it to the stove top before my first swing.

I had a rather large skillet in my hand and the mouse was in between the front burners. So I tried a couple of more swings but the mouse was too low.

As soon as he made a break for the hole in the left front burner, game over. I clocked him three times.

I probably broke my burner in the process, but the way his eyes were bulging, I knew it was done.

I put on a glove and another on top of it. I then grabbed a grocery bag and paper towel. After I was sure I wouldn’t get rabies, I threw it away and took out the trash.

That whole night I was listening for another one while trying to sleep. I heard nothing and finally fell asleep after midnight.

I’m just glad that I didn’t wake up PJ but I’m glad that the threat of Hantavirus was lessened by the kill.

The funniest thing about it was I think I blacked out because Susan told me the other day that I said “Not today,” before smashing the rodent.

If I had been clever I would’ve dropped one of those one-liners made popular by 80’s action movies. If I could go back in time, I would’ve said, “Dinner is served,” or something like that.