'FALL RISK'

A few days after returning from Seattle where I had a skin cancer removed, my wife showed me the wrist bands I’d worn during surgery. One bore my name and date of birth, the other -- a police-tape-yellow number -- read simply “FALL RISK.”

At first I was insulted that anyone would consider me at risk of tipping over, even in an impaired state. After giving it a bit of thought, however, I realized I’ve always been a fall risk.

Not that I often fall, but I’ve lived a life where much of the time doing so would be quite painful, if not fatal. I’ve climbed roofs and walked floor joists on construction jobs. I’ve balanced on slippery logs to cross rushing creeks and clambered over rock slides deep in the mountains. I’ve even scrambled up trees to avoid grizzly bears.

With nary a fall.

Oh, I lose my footing on occasion.

I slipped and landed on my keister last year while looking for a rooster my friend Dallas had dropped in the cattails. I got up quickly, hoping he hadn’t seen my tumble, but later he told me he had.

I took another fall on the last day of the season crossing a frozen irrigation ditch, but no one saw me. And if my misstep went unnoticed and I was able to walk away, did I really fall?

I was once so sure-footed that others followed my trail. The New York Times even took note in a feature story about a Yellowstone Park pack trip I was on in 1978.

“Mr. Heinlein knew how to walk up to the edge of a boiling pot, how to avoid the thin crusts where one could break through and slip irretrievably into the boiling mess below.”

Had I been wearing a wrist band emblazoned with the words FALL RISK, I doubt the folks on that pack trip would have followed my steps so closely.

I don’t take falls lightly. My father died from one. I’ve lived much of my life balanced precariously on the edge of a cliff expecting to fall. So far I’ve always found a foothold, regained my balance and walked away.

The day may come, however, when I lose my footing, topple over and end it all in a big kersplat. Hopefully, I don’t end up in the “boiling mess below.”

There’s a risk of that, too.

Parker Heinlein is at [email protected]