A tragic tale of a swollen ankle

It was early last Sunday morning, before anyone had arrived for the opening of the Malta Skatepark, that I dropped into one of the bowls. I shot across the concrete and up a wall, making a nice, long arching carve before pumping to the top and popping up, grabbing the front of my board with my left hand, kicking the bottom out with my right foot, for an epic backside 50/50. Something went sideways in my landing, however, and the board shot out from underneath me and into the irrigation canal. I landed with a thud, tweaking my right ankle, which proceeded to blow up like a party balloon.

Pretty wild, eh?

Too bad, aside from the balloon-ankle, it is all make believe.

What really happened was I was walking out the front door of my house – a glass of freshly poured iced tea in my hand – and hit the bottom of the porch where the sidewalk sits, placed my right foot 50/50 on concrete and grass and twisted the ankle, hitting the ground like a ton of bricks.

I remember letting out a low, Chewbacca-like growl as everything went into slow motion as I toppled -- the glass of tea seeming to fall to the ground a little slower than I did -- and ‘boom,’ the champ was down and the tea was wasted.

It must have been a funny sight for anyone who might have seen it, but if anyone did witness my fall from grace, they didn’t point or snicker.

I rolled around on the ground for a few seconds before looking down to see my swollen ankle. I tried to roll over and put some pressure on the wounded joint, but no dice. I wasn’t going anywhere by myself.

Because I didn’t want to shout out and risk alerting any of my neighbors of my folly, I pulled my cellphone from my pocket and messaged my wife and daughter “I have fallen, and I can’t get up.”

To the rescue both Charity and Sophia rode, coming to my aid faster than Tony Hawk through a 900. Their “hero” had fallen and they weren’t sure they would be able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

It was a rough day and a half, but with the help of the wife and child, I am feeling better and ready to hit the skatepark (you might want to show up for that event, it will be worth a chuckle or twelve.)

Thanks for reading and aloha.