Script may be my downfall

No two snowflakes are alike, the old saying tells us, and I have no reason not to believe this as fact. My time working at newspaper has taught me that like those snowflakes, no two people have the same handwriting.

Case in point, my wife’s handwriting versus mine. Charity writes in lovely, legible script. I, on the other hand, write in scratchy, unreadable blobs of inky confusion. It is the reason that she writes the well wishes on all the greeting cards we send to friends and family. It is the reason that I record every word of every interview I conduct. In fact, my hand writing is so ineligible that when doctors see it, they feel better about themselves.

I bring up the topic of handwriting because I had a tough time reading pages and pages of it yesterday. I always have and always will encourage people in our community to submit news to put in the paper each week. I truly enjoy the tips, tidbits, scores and salutations that are submitted each week and I know people enjoy reading them. I believe it is what makes the Phillips County News different than other newspapers and it is something I truly cherish.

That said, as I transformed page after page of script into electronic bytes, there were a dozen points during the day where I read a word and wondered, ‘just what the heck this says?’

Is this word “loving” or “loathing” I pondered?

“This one could be ‘eating’ or it could be ‘everything’,” I announced to the office. The staff here at the PCN felt for me, they truly did, but even they can only take so much of my hysterical blathering. They nodded and tried to get back to work and I tried to get back to deciphering the hieroglyphics on my desk.

It was somewhere around the thirteenth hour of work on Monday when I had an epiphany. I decided that I would purchase everyone who lives in Phillips County a laptop, stocked with the latest and greatest E-mail software. People would now be able to put pen and paper by the wayside and send me everything over the internet. I would be able to simply copy and paste from the correspondence to the newspaper…brilliant!

A talked to my boss and told him of my magical plan.

He told me to go home and take a nap.

Foiled again.

After said nap, I now see the flaws in my scheme – what a difference a day makes, eh?

It was with fresh eyes this morning that I again sat in front of my computer and tried to solve the riddles sent to me for this week’s newspaper.

Insect or concert? Chill or child? Sally or sadly?

“Sadly, Sally was a chilly child at the insect concert?”

Good grief.

I don’t want this column to deter anyone from sending me their stories, thank yous, bowling scores or news of meet and greets in cursive scribe … not in the least. I appreciate the time and effort put into writing these (which you all do for free.) It is also lost on me that at times, the story I write for the pages of the PCN are extremely hard to understand – and they are set in type, so I have no excuse. I would send you all thank you cards, but then I’ve already explained my penmanship problems. I am honored to receive your letters, please know that.

I do, however, want you to know that when you read the story about Chilly Sally that I don’t take these mistakes lightly and I am doing everything in my power to avoid them.

Thanks for reading and Aloha.