One Nation, Under God

This ones snotty :-P

I am allergic to everything.

My life long dream has always been to own a dog that is mine. Not my brother’s. Not my mom’s. Not my band’s. Mine and only mine.

I stumbled upon some puppies the other day and everything was going alright, of course until the puppy started yelping for me to put it down.

I of course obliged the dog’s demand, because I didn’t want to be a jerk.

But good guys do not always win, I found out, because that sweet little pup-pup hurt me more than it will ever know.

I got home after a hard day of work and realized, I couldn’t breathe out of either nostril, my throat was a little itchy and I realized that my allergies had kicked in.

I immediately took some generic Claritin. All better, right?

Right. I was feeling great for another week or so.

Then the season started to change on me.

It always seems to happen before my birthday, every year.

I think to myself every single year it’s a cold until I found out this snot and coughing nightmare isn’t a cold due to me becoming older. It’s because I’m allergic to everything and I need an allergy shot.

I’ve noticed that allergy shots only work for a short amount of time considering I have these allergies all year round.

Not only do I have allergies but I think my sweet son, only three months old has also inherited my allergy issues.

It’s the most disheartening thing to hear your poor child struggling to breathe out of his nose.

Even worse, the one thing that can help him, a booger bulb, (that device that sucks the snot out of his nose) is his worse enemy.

When he is upset about anything, he is loud and some of his loudest wails have occurred during booger bulb time.

In past days when he was getting his nostrils evacuated, I was jealous. Daddy wanted a booger bulb of his own.

So I invested in a “Neti pot.”

I’m impressed.

I’ve used it three times in two weeks and I have to say not being congested for some or most of the day is a gift.

It’s almost like a magic lamp, you know like that one in Aladdin with three wishes?

Anyway I had one wish and that was to breathe freely in America.

It granted my wish.

Though sometimes it feels like when I use it I’m drowning in salt water.

I have literally almost drowned in salt water six times in my life.

The first instance was when I was in high school on a missions trip to Tijuana, Mexico.

We had just gotten done with our mission part of the trip, which was to build a few 11 X 22 houses.

After the mission is over, we went to Rosarito Beach.

I went out too far into the ocean and I can’t swim. But I learned how to real fast and swam to safety.

This happened again in Florida, I was trying to tread water only to find that I couldn’t touch the ground.

I swam back again.

And another time in the Pacific Ocean.

The last three times happened in my bathroom, with that Neti Pot.

But it works and if I have to come that close to death in order to breathe, so be it.

 

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