Going to be 'huge'

I noticed Ace was a bit off his feed this morning.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“He’s just worried about the future,” Spot growled. “He worries about such things.”

“It’s going to be huge,” Jem yowled from his perch on the recliner. “Huge.”

“What is?” I asked.

“The future,” he yipped. “Everybody’s talking about it. It’s tremendous.”

“How so?” I asked.

“It’s going to be the best future anyone’s ever seen,” he chirped. “Tremendous.”

“I think you’ve been watching too much CNN,” I told him.

“Oh, you can’t trust the media,” he answered. “They’re liars.”

“So you don’t trust me? I asked.

“Huh?" he yipped.

“I’m part of the media,” I said.

“Yeah, right,” Jem shot back. “And I come when called.”

Spot started barking.

“What’s your problem?” I asked the old dog.

“Jem doesn’t come when called,” she snapped. “He hides.”

“Liar,” Jem yipped. “She’s a liar. Lock her up.”

Ace let out a long, low howl.

“Can’t we all just get along?” he chortled.

Jem gave Ace a toothy smile.

“Did I hurt your feelings little buddy?” he asked the pup. “Are you going to cry?”

“Jem,” I snapped. “Knock it off. You’re being a jerk.”

But Jem had turned his attention to licking himself.

“The future’s what we make of it,” Spot told Ace. “And you’ve got a lot more of it ahead of you than Jem or I do.”

“Wrong!” Jem yipped without looking up. “Liar.”

“She’s not lying,” I said. “That’s the truth. She’s going on 14. You’re 10. The future is rapidly closing in on the two of you. Ace is only five.”

“According to whom?” Jem asked. “The lamestream media?

“My future is going to be tremendous. Everyone is talking about it. Huge. Tremendous.”

“Well, guess what?” I told him. “The media is about to have an immediate effect on your future. I’m going to roll up a newspaper and whip your huge butt.”

“That’s not fair,” he snapped. “You should whip Ace.”

“Why should I do that?” I asked him. “Ace hasn’t done anything.”

“Exactly,” Jem replied. “He just lies around and whines. Ace is low energy. I think he may be sick. A good whuppin’ is just what he needs.

I picked up the newspaper off the floor and started rolling. The dogs scampered out of the room.

“Jem,” I called. “Come! Let’s talk about your future. I hear it’s going to be huge.”

Parker Heinlein is at

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