Donkey basketball in Malta on April 8

The two big questions on folk’s lips around town have been: 1. How did the Malta Chamber of Commerce get Malta High School Principal Scott King to allow donkeys on the basketball court and, 2. How did the Malta Chamber of Commerce get Malta High School Principal Scott King to agree to pick up donkey droppings at said event?

“They seem to think that watching Scott King pick up donkey poop will be great entertainment for everybody,” Principal King said, speaking in third-person. “I don’t know if I agree, but I agreed to do it anyway. I told them I will do what I have to do and I am always ready to work the crowd.”

Donkey Basketball is scheduled for Saturday, April 8 at the Malta High School Gymnasium starting at 6 p.m. Malta Chamber of Commerce Vice President Ann Sautter told the PCN that since it was announced that Donkey Basketball would return to Malta after a long hiatus, people have been confused about where the game would take place — Old Gym vs. High School Gym — because no one could believe the critters would be allowed on the beautiful floors at Malta High School.

Principal King explained the decision.

“They have convinced us that (the donkeys) will not damage the basketball floor." Principal King said. He explained that the donkeys will wear protection on their hooves to keep the floor safe.

“I was told they do this in gymnasiums all across the America,” Principal King explained.

Joining King in pooper-scooper action for the night will be Malta Elementary School Principal Tad Schye. Principal Schye said that at Malta donkey basketball games in the past, he was a player, not a scraper.

“That is the rumor,” Principal Schye said. “Ann asked me to do that and I agreed…following some good, old-fashioned arm-twisting.”

Principal Schye said the transition from contestant to cleaner should be an effortless one.

“Either way, people are going to be laughing,” he said.