Camouflage fashion

Among the many hats I wore during my years at the Chronicle was that of fashion editor.

Other than being in charge of the annual swimsuit issue, all it really meant was that any fashion-related mail sent to the paper was directed my way. That’s still somewhat the case. Probably a third of the e-mails I receive tout some new fabric or item of clothing.

I usually pay them little attention, but a recent promotion for camouflage gear caught my eye. Apparently camo’s not just for hunters and rednecks anymore.

Whether it’s on casual clothing, or a stylish statement piece or a functional item, camouflage is a great and stylish addition to your day.

It’s also a great way to lose stuff.

A few years ago I purchased a camouflaged semi-automatic shotgun. It fits me well, and I like to shoot it, but I hate to put it down in the field. It simply disappears. I’ve spent hours looking for that gun.

I suspect that won’t be such a problem with this stylish new gear. Wear it around the house or out to the club and instead of blending in, you’ll stand out.

And for anyone who’s looking for a “statement piece,” or even understands the term, standing out is what it’s all about.

Blending in is what bow hunters, waterfowlers and old white guys attending gun shows want to do.

Standing out is what I want my gear to do. I don’t want a camo cell phone cover. I don’t want camo socks. I already spend too much time looking for my stuff.

I used to have a pair of camo gloves, but they blended in so well I lost them.

I rarely take off my camouflage lid for fear it, too, will vanish.

This new, hip, stylish camo isn’t cheap. A pair of short pants called The Fulton will run you $155, however they do feature a sculpted crotch gusset for “enhanced range of motion.”

The Centre, a long-sleeve shirt made from premium Japanese and Spanish stretch textiles, is $195.

The Rumpl, a camouflage puffy blanket, is a steal at $129. Just don’t leave it unattended. You’ll never find it again.

But that may be the point. Instead of wearing out, this new gear simply vanishes into the landscape.

Unless, of course, you only wear it to the club, where blending in is the last thing you want to do.

Parker Heinlein is at [email protected].