One Nation, Under God

Which side am I on?

I’ve been called a lot of things over the years, but this was a new one. A concerned reader, upset over my opinion in a recent column, referred to me as a self-righteous liberal.

I was aghast.

Me?

Morally superior?

I simply point out things I see and state an opinion on them. It’s not always even my opinion. Sometimes I just like to poke the bear. Makes for a better read.

I hope my columns on occasion prompt discussion, even if it’s often what a jerk I must be to have written what I did.

A column I wrote years ago about no longer using kittens for bait so angered a reader that he stormed into the newspaper office, screamed at me, and then bought every paper on the rack.

Another column about the Church Universal and Triumphant planning a new community on the banks of the Yellowstone River, which I called a home for squirrels, led to some ugly confrontations with CUT members.

I’ve mellowed over the years, or perhaps simply lost my edge. Not as many things fire me up as they once did, but stupid still does. If that makes me a liberal in some folks’ eyes, so be it.

I certainly don’t fit the profile. I drive a jacked up truck, spend more time in the company of dogs than people, and am usually in need of a shave. I’m even missing a couple of teeth. At first glance you’d swear I’m a republican, not a former member of the liberal mainstream media.

Like a line from that Hank Williams Jr. song, I can skin a buck and run a trot line.

I also read and write, sometimes using words that a lot of people don’t, like “perhaps,” which I suppose puts me into that morally superior category in some folks’ minds.

These days especially, people want to know what side you’re on, into which box you fit. So let me help.

I’m a very content gun-totin’, beer drinkin’, old white man who recognizes that change is inevitable and there’s no sense wishing it weren’t.

I don’t belong to any clubs nor claim any political affiliation. As a journalist I always tried to remain an impartial observer. As a columnist, though, impartiality is a boring read. There’s seldom any doubt whether I’m for it or against it. Wishy-washy I’m not.

But just a tad self-righteous?

Perhaps.

Parker Heinlein is at [email protected]

 

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