Moe & Gertie: Continued Correspondence

Gertie replies to Moe's letter in the 11/23/22 PCN

Dear Moe,

My loquacious friend boiled over today. She was running off at the head as she usually does when George took offense. "You've got a big mouth,” he said.

"I do not,” she snapped, “I may talk a lot but I don't have a big mouth.” Then George said, “If you'd kept your trap shut we wouldn't be having this conversation.”

"Well, I wasn't the one who called your girlfriend a floozy. That was Percy, and when you cast aspersions on his mother, he delivered the roundhouse to your jaw that sat you right on your patootsie. Your girlfriend musta' been a fickle one. According to Gossipy Gail, she took to chasin' Percy and wedding bells may soon be in the offing.” That's what I heard anyway.

“And, by the way, how long will it be that you have to take your vittles through a straw in your mouth?”

My opinion, Moe, is that George was looking at her through rose-colored glasses.

Josephine, show-off that she is, as you know, is no goody-two-shoes. She's been gallivantin' around town in her new red roadster. She asked me if I wanted to go for a ride; I really didn't want to but I didn't want to let on that I knew about her disregard for speed limits and so forth. So I said yes and we took off lickedty-split going pell-mell toward Sharpsville. If I thought going lickedty-split was bad, coming back was worse. She sure was hell-bent-for-leather on getting back to Cornburg in the nick of time. I ain't gonna' try that again!

I gotta' tell you about Augustus. We always thought he was a dimwit but this takes the cake! The school called him because his son was failing in English. So he goes up to school and chews out the Super. “Why does he have to take English anyway, "he roars, "he aint never goin' to England. "And I shook my head when Gossipy Gail reported on that one.

I think cousin Hughie is sparkin a gal over acrost the valley. He's sure been makin tracks thataways lately. That spavined nag he rides wouldn't impress me none but seein' as how it doesn't bother him, what do I care.

I tried to fix my churn but I couldn't figure out how to use that thing-a-ma-jig in hubbie's toolbox. I don't like being a widow.

I'll call it quits for now. Write soon.

Love, Gertie