The Greatest Place on the Planet?

Wow!

Another accolade for Bozeman.

Now, according to Time.com, it’s one of the greatest places on the planet.

That information appeared on my facebook feed -- surprise, surprise -- compliments of a real estate agent.

Bozeman, like most every other town in the state, had already been included on a plethora of lists: best mid-size city in the U. S., top ski town in the West, favorite spot for trust-funders to pretend to be locals, etc.

And it is a swell place, but greatest on the planet?

Why not? Real estate agents and homeless folks sure think so.

Barb and I left Bozeman nearly 20 years ago in search of Montana. We’ve been in Malta ever since, a dying town with horrible weather, a mosquito problem, and a mean-spirited populace.

Malta only appears on those lists of place to avoid.

We also own a cabin on Fort Peck Lake, another hell-hole to stay away from, treeless, windswept, and even unfriendlier than Malta.

Bozeman, on the other hand, has it all: sprawling subdivisions of over-priced look-a-like tract homes, every fast-food franchise on the planet, and neighborhoods of folks who just moved there yesterday who all want to be your friend.

There’s no longer a pesky newspaper in town stirring up trouble. The new owners of the former Daily Chronicle look to be in the process of dismantling the paper prior to selling the building.

But more real estate plus more money means happy real estate agents. And, that, obviously, creates great places.

There’s a traffic problem in Bozeman that will remind newcomers of home, as will the growing legions of homeless squatting there.

Fishing and hiking opportunities await residents at the many crowded trailheads near town, and the line for skiing at Bridger Bowl rarely runs for more than 10 miles.

While many longtime Bozeman residents complain about the influx of newcomers, they simply haven’t accepted that they live in one of the greatest places on the planet and need to share.

It took years of me living somewhere else to realize what a great place Bozeman is. It certainly tops my list of places where other people should move.

Congratulations, Bozeman. You’re the greatest.

Parker Heinlein is at [email protected]