Spirit of Christmas

Spirit of Christmas

by Lorraine Seaford

Phillips County, Mont.

The calendar says it is Christmas.

It's cold, and there's snow on the ground.

The carolers sing and church bells do ring.

Why doesn't my heart respond?

A part of the picture is missing,

Though the presents and Santa are here.

Then why are the colors so faded?

The music so flat to my ear?

What is it I need but can't locate?

What's wrong with my spirit this year?

The inward turned ice of depression,

Keeps me from all holiday cheer.

I've dutifully baked and gone shopping.

I've wrapped and I've addressed to mail.

What more could be required of me?

What's caused Christmas spirit to fail?

I've given to charitable causes,

Yet I feel so lost and alone.

I return the bright smiles of others,

But there is no joy in my own.

The sounds of the season are hollow.

I find no surcease from this gloom.

So now in my dark desperation,

I fall to my knees in my room.

"Dear Father, why all this confusion?

Why can't I hear music sublime?

I've done all the things that I had to do,

But there's no pleasure in it this time.

I listen, but hear not an answer.

The silence is loud in my ear.

Panic's cold grip is tight on my throat.

I'm drowning in darkness and fear.

Now the silence becomes peaceful stillness.

I sense a sweet presence nearby,

As I feel the soft touch of the Spirit,

Tears of thankfulness well in my eye.

His answer so quickly forthcoming,

Lifts my heart and fills it with song,

And I cry out a glad, "Hallelujah".

For now I know what has been wrong.

It's not only cookies and shopping,

It's wanting to give, not recieve.

It's not pretty dresses and parties,

It's to ponder and pray and believe.

"Hosanna", I cry to the heavens.

"Over mountain and plain let it ring.

What I had forgotten 'bout Christmas--

It's a birthday, -- of Jesus, our king."