A call to arms: Hide your dogs and small children

I just heard that there was a time where Malta was crop dusted with mosquito killer. And it worked.

I’m sure there are a plethora of reasons why the town isn’t crop dusted anymore, but if that time comes again, I will literally stand outside and inhale anything that kills these little biters.

Around this time last year, I went on a rant about mosquitoes and I hope it encouraged just one per-son to be vigilant and nuke their own yard with mosquito killer.

This season as clouds of mosquitoes terrorize our county, I urge everyone to bear arms and kill as many of those West Nile infested turds as you can.

I used some cheap mosquito killer for our backyard one day before I cut our lawn and to my surprise, I was able to cut our lawn in shorts and a beater.

As my neighbors can attest, last summer, I cut our lawn in sweat clothes.

Did I care of my perspiration? My dehydration, which could have landed me in the hospital?

NO! The thought of passing out due to heat stroke was a far better fate than donating my blood to a mosquito colony.

Every summer those little vampires take away my peace of mind. Every season I cover myself in spray with over 50 percent deet, keeping the woman I love far away from my loving arms until I shower.

I have tried the natural remedy of citronella and peppermint oil, which ended up with those around me nearly passing out from the pungent aroma.

This year I say nay! Let’s bomb those jokers! Break out your mosquito traps, bug zappers, malathion, citronella candles.

Clean your gutters and dump anything that retains water.

The Biter-Fighters can’t vanquish this enemy alone! (Thank God for the City Crew.)

Let us fight. For this county is ours. Not those ectoparasites.

Stay safe.