Halfway through 2017

A customer came in and noticed a Happy New Year sign at the PCN, reminding me that we are about halfway through 2017.

This sign also reminded me of how a new year is typically stereotyped as a point of change.

At this halfway point, I have noticed I haven’t done anything to change myself. I looked at the scale and I have never been heavier.

I think most of us have had that moment where you look down at the scale and your eyes bulge through your head. I had that moment about a month ago.

Sometimes life doesn’t go how you would expect it and I can’t help but wonder if in grieving, I stopped paying attention.

For those that don’t know, we lost an unborn child in April. It’s something I haven’t written about because it’s a terrible thing to think about.

Yes. I know that miscarriages are a part of life but it doesn’t make it easier to deal with it.

I would love to think that people mean the best when they say sorry or send condolences, but some people make it awkward.

Nothing ruins your day like when someone makes you repeat what happened. When people say I heard you had a tragedy, or ask what happened? We live in a small town where once one person knows, everyone knows, so yea, please don’t make me repeat the sad news 10 times a day.

People have different ways of dealing with grief and for me all I wanted to do was stay inside and eat junk food. While I didn’t eat as much junk food as I wanted, I still gained weight somehow; roughly 10 pounds.

In rough times, I used to rely on prayer, weight lifting and drumming to deal with stress but not this time. In this instance it had been prayer and my family. Though it has been an extremely tough thing to deal with, it has made our small family appreciate each other more.

Eventually we will try to conceive again but not anytime soon.

As for PJ, he has provided comic relief as well as a great distraction. We are beyond thankful for him and we appreciate God blessing us with him. He is growing up so fast and surprises us daily with the things that he knows.

We appreciated the prayers, hugs, condolences and flowers from everyone, your thoughtfulness has helped us through this tough time.