Things my mother taught me

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside...I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week.”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC

"Because I said so, that's why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC

"If you fall out of that swing and break you neck, you are not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY

"Keep crying and I will give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck.”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA

"You'll sit there until that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER

"This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY

"If I told you once I told you a million times don't exaggerate.”

13. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE

"I brought you into this world, I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION

"Stop acting like your father.”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY

"There's millions of less fortunate children in this world, who don't have wonderful parents like you.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION

"Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING

"You are going to get it when we get home.”

18. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

19. My mother taught me about ESP

"Put your sweater on, don't you think I know when you are cold.”

20. My mother taught me about HUMOR

" When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me about HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT

"If you don't eat all your vegetables you will never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me about GENETICS

"You're just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about ROOTS

23. My mother taught me about ROOTS

"Shut that door behind you, do you think you were born in a barn.”

24. My mother taught me about WISDOM

"When you get to be my age, you will understand.”

And my favorite!!!!!!

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE

"One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!!!”