One Nation, Under God

I Haven't Crawled Like That Since 1990

Welp. I crawled into my crawl space.

I have only been in my crawl space a few times over the last ten years, and hated it every time.

This time. It was necessary. I needed a new dryer vent.

In an attempt to save my father-in-law’s shoulder a lot of grief, I went below my house to try and install the new dryer vent hose.

Unfortunately, I failed. This was due to my lack of understanding. For one, the hose was a little too short, and secondly, I needed a “crimping tool”.

So, instead of saving my father-in-law from getting down there, he came and saved the day.

I am not too proud to say that I needed help. I understand that I am not a great handyman, or even a good one. I can do small tasks, but even then it’s dicey!

Now back to the crawl space…

I don’t know what I expected to see under the house, but I found a good amount of spider webs that were vacant thanks to the bug bomb that I deployed under the house. What did not die were sewer flies from a leak that we had under the house this summer.

Thankfully, I was able to have a little fun with a can of Raid!

I am thankful that I did not see any wasp nests, mice, rats, snakes, or chupacabras.

What I noticed the most from my spelunking adventure was the pain from crawling. I was so sore that it affected my workouts last week. I was weaker than normal but I also broke a sweat under the Bibbs' crib!

After the experience, I was joking that I wouldn’t go down there again until I lost another 50 pounds, but if I spent a few days down there I would probably lose that and more.

Another weird thing that I noticed while I was in the “Upside Down” (Stranger Things reference), was that I lost track of time. I felt that I was under there for five minutes. Well, I think it was actually closer to 20 or 30 minutes.

I am sincerely hoping to not have to go down there again, and if I do, I’m going in with a full hazmat suit.

To the local plumbers that have been in my crawl space before, I salute you and respect you more than ever.


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