Winter is the Great Equalizer

With all the snow this winter it’s getting hard to tell who’s new to Montana and who’s not.

Almost everything’s covered.

That lump in the snow might be carefully planted shrubbery or it might be a pile of old tires. Only spring will tell.

That expanse of the snow-covered yard may well hide a groomed lawn of exotic grass or just as likely, an untended dirt patch sprinkled with dog droppings.

Winter, with its accompanying blanket of snow, is the great equalizer.

To an extent.

Large, ostentatious houses —snow-covered or not — are typically an indication of newcomers, especially if they are sitting vacant this time of year. And don’t be fooled by the driveway clear of snow. It’s probably heated.

If the 8,000-square-foot house is in a rural setting and doesn’t have a boneyard of vehicles and worn out equipment nearby, there’s a good chance the occupants haven’t been here long.

Old timers didn’t throw much away. You never know when you might need a pulley off that ’56 Ford.

Newcomers also seem to have an aversion to piles of stuff, be it old lumber, pipe, or metal roofing. They will, however, tolerate a neatly stacked and split pile of firewood if it’s in an aesthetically pleasing location.

Covered in snow it can all be a bit confusing.

Malta, where there are few newcomers, recently began a clean-up campaign, and is in the process of hiring a compliance officer.

Even longtime Montanans, it appears, eventually get fed up with too much junk and squalor. Those that don’t usually don’t live in town. That’s the luxury of country living. Space for your stuff.

Or at least it used to be.

Now the new places in the country are neat as a pin. Except for a horse or two and maybe a couple of llamas, there’s no livestock, and if anything is growing it’s in a raised garden.

For the next month or so the state will remain covered in white and for all anyone can tell, we’re all Montanans.

Come spring, however, we’ll be able to tell the difference.

Parker Heinlein is at [email protected]