Phillips County News - One Nation, Under God

Articles written by Parker Heinlein

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 By Parker Heinlein    Opinion    April 1, 2020 

OK, Boomer, time to reevaluate

OK Boomer, let’s see what you got. I quit elk hunting some years ago. I haven’t shot a deer or an antelope in a couple of years. That’s all about to change. In this time of quarantine, I’m ree...

 

Doing fine except for one feeling

We left Montana the last day of February driving south in search of sun and surf. We returned two weeks later to a world much different than the one we’d left. I hadn’t seen a palm tree in a...

 

All's quiet on the Yellowstone

Times certainly have changed. More than three dozen bison were killed by hunters recently just outside Yellowstone National Park. And it was no big deal. The national media wasn’t in attendance....

 

Times certainly have changed

Times certainly have changed. More than three dozen bison were killed by hunters recently just outside Yellowstone National Park. And it was no big deal. The national media wasn’t in attendance....

 

Waiting for the pike to appear

When I was a kid my dad gave me an autographed copy of a book by Sasha Siemel. He was a professional hunter in Brazil, famous for killing more than 300 jaguars with a spear. As I sat shivering in a...

 

Slim freezer pickings

Oh, how I long for summer. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I don’t like winter. I just hate getting dressed for it. It’s so much work. While covering the offending parts is all that’s...

 

Slim pickings mid-winter

Last week’s column on the impending invasion of feral swine from Canada attracted an unusual amount of attention. Apparently the squeal of the pig resonates with more hunters than I would have...

 

Plan for pigs not for everyone

Last week’s column on the impending invasion of feral swine from Canada attracted an unusual amount of attention. Apparently the squeal of the pig resonates with more hunters than I would have...

 

When wild pigs arrive...

Invaders are massing at our border and a bombastic reality TV star promises to save our bacon. Sound familiar? No, it’s not him. It’s Pigman. Brian Quaca, the host of “Pigman: The Series,” on...

 

Still better than Tucson

I’m a little torn. It’s so cold I have no interest in going outside. On the other hand, it’s cold, so it’s making ice and that means I should be outside -- fishing. I’ve never been much of...

 

Washington State: It's a different world

It’s only a day’s drive from here, but it’s a world away. At least I fit in. With longish gray hair and a beard, I looked like a hundred other guys on the street, although they were dressed...

 

A good bird dog dies young

I never put much stock in the old saying that a man is lucky to own one good bird dog in his life. If that’s the case then that man just didn’t have enough dogs. I’ve had a bunch, some better...

 

Wow, that was fast

Wow. That went fast. It always does. The five-week general big game season in Montana closed Sunday. Unless you plan to hunt the shoulder season for elk, you’re done for the year. There’s often a...

 

I hope it doesn't spoil him

My 12-year-old grandson Isaac shot a good muley buck earlier this month. I hope it doesn’t spoil him. In an effort to get young people interested in hunting, the state, along with a number of...

 

I hope it doesn't spoil him

My 12-year-old grandson Isaac shot a good muley buck earlier this month. I hope it doesn’t spoil him. In an effort to get young people interested in hunting, the state, along with a number of...

 

Barking must mean something

I fear I may be missing the message. For his entire life, my dog Ace has played second and third fiddle to other dogs. Going on nine now, he’s entering the twilight of his undistinguished career....

 

Ruining best pheasant spots

The Bowdoin National Wildlife Refuge used to offer the best public pheasant hunting in Montana. It no longer does. Not even close. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service’s Russian olive eradication...

 

More about 'coup' than hunting

The government of Trinidad and Tobago recently banned the importation and use of crossbows in that Caribbean nation. It’s a pre-emptive measure. Although there haven’t been any murders or...

 

Pheasant hunting time

I always have mixed feelings about the opening of pheasant season. On one hand I look forward to hunting the big, gaudy birds again, and having the house full of friends and dogs. On the other hand,...

 

Canaries in coal mine?

Sage grouse season closed last week. For the second year in a row I didn’t get one. I didn’t even see one. It wasn’t for lack of effort. I’ve been hunting more days than not since the upland...

 

One last cast for the year

I thought I was done with fishing for the year. My focus had been on hunting since Sept. 1 when upland bird season opened. But early last week, after a morning chasing sharptails with my friend Dallas...

 

Front page placement

My picture was on the front page of the local paper last week. It’s something I try to avoid. I prefer to fly under the radar. The mug shot that accompanies my column no longer looks like me and...

 

Not going quietly

I thought Jem would be ready to retire, hang it up, head to the couch, rest on his laurels. After all, he recently turned 13, the life expectancy of a springer spaniel. He has aches and pains, walks...

 

A memory of a trail

I can’t get a stretch of trail out of my head. It must be the season. I haven’t been there for years, but years ago I walked it many times every fall. The stretch of trail I keep seeing isn’t...

 

Mosquitoes, wind better than hurricanes

My cousin promised to call when Dorian hits. He said he’ll hold the phone outdoors so I can hear the storm. While we experience a lot of severe weather in Montana, thank goodness hurricanes aren’t...

 

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