'It's a long way down the holiday road'

As you read this column, the Hebert clan is most likely somewhere between Wolf Point and Glasgow, making our way home to Phillips County after stays in Minot, N.D., and Deadwood, S.D., as your neighborhood reporter’s 2016 vacation comes to a close.

This year we decided to take to the highways and byways of this great country instead of our usual airplane trip to Southern California to visit the Mouse and his friends. We weren’t sure where or what we would do, but the wife, child and I knew that we wanted a road trip. Shortly after, the daughter discovered that one of her favorite bands would be playing at the North Dakota State Fair and after a short discussion between the wife and I, it was decided that a night during our vacation would include a show by rockers Fall Out Boy (hopefully the show doesn’t produce an “Up-Chuck Dad”, but I will keep you posted on that front.)

It has been about 11 years since we have decided to drive to our vacation destination rather than fly…and for good reason. Back in 2005, the three of us decided to load up the minivan and head to Portland, Ore., to see my father. We lived in Missoula at the time and after about 30-miles of driving – around the town of Alberton – young Sophia vomited a bucket full of formula all over the back of the van. Not a great start to our first family road trip.

After decontaminating the mini-van, it was back on I-90 to head west. Things went smooth for a spell, but around the town Umatilla, Ore., five hours later – as we crossed the Columbia River – the old minivan seized-up and went dead. In the middle of nowhere, in a town we’d never been to, the Hebert’s were in a spot. A passerby stopped and asked if we were okay (it was around 100 degrees) and gave the three of us a ride to town. I remember three things about Umatilla.

1. Praying mantises the size of pigeons.

2. A huge metal John Wayne sign in the middle of town.

3. A $600 bill to fix the cruddy, old minivan.

All things told, it was a great trip to see my dad and a story we talk about on occasion. My fingers are crossed that this trip will go smoother...well, at least less vomit.

Thanks for reading and aloha.