The perfect bird dog?

I’m going to upgrade my printer.

Get me one of them newfangled ones that prints guns.

But I’m not much interested in printing out one of those ugly little single shot pistols that have been pictured all over the news. No, I want a fine double gun like the white hunters in Africa carry on safari or at least a WWII-era, Belgium-made Browning. I always thought those were cool, but never figured I could afford one.

Although judges have blocked efforts to post blueprints for firearms online, more than 100,000 were already down-loaded before that action was taken. There’s a good chance one of my redneck friends has his hands on one of those 100,000, and will share.

If not, it’s just a matter of time before the technology be-comes more readily available to tech-impaired Luddites like me.

I understand some folks are concerned these 3D printable weapons are untraceable and therefore no one will know who’s packing one. I just assume everybody is already packing something and go from there.

Apparently there are a few problems with 3D printable firearms. The hokey little plastic single-shots are said to have a tendency to blow up when you pull the trigger. And the printer required to produce guns from blueprints is a bit spendy. You’ll probably have to rob a bank to afford one, but there’s a Catch 22 you can’t rob the bank until you print out your gun and you can’t afford the printer until you rob the bank.

The guns are also made of plastic. That’s not a big deal if you’re already shooting a Glock and like it, but if you’re yearning for blued steel and hardwood, a plastic piece isn’t going to cut it.

There’s also the chance that once you get your hands on a printer capable of producing a firearm you might just want to make something else instead.

In the 1985 science fiction film Weird Science, two high school nerds create the perfect woman using a similar technique.

Having already found the perfect woman I’d be more inclined to use the printer for firearms manufacture, but the idea of using it to create the perfect bird dog intrigues me.

I can’t imagine a judge blocking such technology.

Our world is constantly changing.

Ain’t it cool?

Just hit print.

Parker Heinlein is at [email protected].