They look and sound like you and me

Homelessness isn’t much of a problem in the little town where I live.

We offer few services to the passing-through poor and don’t have a shelter. Although we’re surrounded by thousands of acres of public land, it’s too isolated, too wild up here for a homeless camping crowd that thrives on panhandling and free cheese.

Bozeman’s recently completed homeless shelter immediately began attracting a crowd and all 40 beds quickly filled. Not too many years ago there, the homeless, who were then referred to as vagrants, were typically given bus tickets to either Butte or Billings, and sent on their way.

Now they can stay, either in a shelter or camped on vacant lots in a town where the median home price tops three-quarters of a million dollars.

In Missoula, where the homeless have long given the Garden City an urban vibe, they are even referred to as “campers.” Authorities there, however, have begun dismantling shacks and shelters made of pallets at the city’s largest homeless camp, and are banning fires.

In Tennessee, a wider-spread crackdown is underway. Beginning July 1, it will be a felony offense to camp in the Volunteer State on local public property such as parks. Texas already has a similar law.

Perhaps that’s the answer: simply make homelessness illegal and it will go away, or at least spur the unwashed masses to move to blue states where they can still camp, smoke weed, and get abortions.

Montana lawmakers, who tend to follow the lead of red states on issues that aren’t yet problems here, are sure to take up what-to-do-with-the-homeless during the next session of the Legislature.

Or not. They still have to contend with the transsexual athlete issue, which isn’t yet an issue here.

Sending the homeless on their way may not solve homelessness, but it does make it someone else’s problem.

That’s already the rumor – Missoula’s homeless were bussed there from Spokane, whose homeless were bussed there from Seattle. The homeless, apparently, spend a lot of time on buses. Rumors of them being bussed in to change the outcome of elections are rampant.

It’s a vexing problem. The majority of homeless are relatively young, white, and English-speaking. They look and sound like you and me. It’s easier to discriminate against folks when they look and talk differently than us.

My wife often tells me I look like a homeless person. I guess I’ll have to be more careful about where I camp. I sure don’t need to get arrested.

Parker Heinlein is at [email protected]