My Shotgun Would've Kept Me From Facing My Fear

I have a fear of falling.

It’s not age-related.

I just don’t like to fall. It often hurts.

During hunting season I’m especially careful. The ground is uneven if not steep, the footing precarious. If I take a misstep and lose my balance I always protect the gun, letting my elbows and backside hit the ground instead of the fancy walnut stock.

That approach has served me well. While my elbows and backside may be scarred and bruised, my 20-gauge, Italian over-and-under only bears a couple of hard-to-see scratches.

Once winter sets in and the season ends I put chains on my boots for my daily walks. In the yard, however, I don’t chain up. I walk from the house to the shop on a trail of packed snow and simply walk around any ice in my path.

During a recent warm spell a puddle had formed at the gate to my side yard and following a stretch of frigid weather it turned into a skating rink.

Taking care as I was crossing it yesterday I paid no attention to where the dogs were. That was a mistake. Slowly crossing the slick spot I was hit suddenly from behind, my feet flying out from under me. I landed with a smack on the ice, unleashing a torrent of obscenities that turned the air blue.

Dot, who had knocked me off my pins, shot me a quick glance before disappearing through the dog door into the garage.

Crawling to my feet, I found everything still worked, but to break my fall I had tried to catch myself, and my wrist was complaining. I iced it for a couple of hours before a fitful night’s sleep.

If only I’d been carrying a shotgun this never would have happened.

Barb, upon hearing my tale, suggested once again that we move somewhere without ice. Sore and angry at being bowled over by a 55-pound spaniel, I almost agreed with her.

Falling, however, may just be in my blood. My father died in a fall 18 years ago. He wasn’t hunting or crossing the ice. He was going to the bathroom.

And while I might just start carrying a shotgun in the yard the rest of winter so I don’t hurt my wrists, taking it with me to the bathroom is probably a bit much.

I guess I’ll have to be careful and take my chances.

Parker Heinlein is at [email protected]